Adventures in High End Shopping

This post is prompted by a recent stop into Barney's New York at Copley Place.

I walked in and there was literally one other person in the store. Walked around, browsed, called my parents on my cell, took my time...and there were two other groups of people who came in the entire time I was there, both groups of teenagers who were probably just coming in to look. It was sad.

But what really got me was that, in this economy when all the papers are reporting about how it's the super high end brands who are getting hit (NYTimes had a long magazine piece recently about the economic situation for the uber-wealthy Palm Beach, where Madoff had a home), there was nothing on sale, and the sales associates didn't acknowledge me. I had come from work so I was dressed like an adult and wearing my expensive wool button down coat - Jones New York, so not Armani or anything, but not exactly derelicte either. I looked like a viable customer. After being in the store for a good 20 minutes one person gave me a brief "hello" and nod as she walked by me. That was it. Later I was looking at The highly overpriced (even for diamonds) Zoe Eternity Band in a glass case about two feet from the jewelry sales associates and they did nothing. I would've tried it on, though it never occurred to me it was over $3000 (Barney's or not; think of the economy.) The band is super cute and original because it's so damn tiny - super duper thin but with diamonds all the way around. I look at women with big engagement rings on their fingers and think to myself "I hope mine just donates the money instead - these giant ices are so garish and such a waste of money" - so this piece intrigued me. If it had been around $800, which is what I expected given how little precious materials actually have to go into a ring this thin and tiny, I might have considered saving up for it over the summer.

But anyway, these ladies don't know what I can and cannot afford. If I had walked in head to toe covered in Hermes and Armani, or on the arm of some pimp-like guy in Armani with a slicked back pony tail and a name like "Jorg" - would they have helped me then? You should really never have to ask.

Or maybe it's been so long since they had a sale that they just assumed there would be no purchasers today.

Anyway, I'm being a little cruel to Barney's. They still have some of the nicest pieces around town and a selection that is almost worth paying the money for...almost.

I did have a fine time trying on the Jennifer Oulette hair pieces at $65 and up a pop. These two sparked my interest in particular:

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(sorry folks, no pics as Barneys.com won't allow me to grab a capture)

and they ARE very well made. That's the thing about items like cosmetics, hair accessories, gloves, earmuffs...even the most expensive splurge in the category is still relatively affordable...long as it isn't diamond encrusted.

Even so...I'm not spending $135 on a hairband. Screw you. I'd rather take myself out to dinner. 5 times. Or buy expensive yarn o_O (a yarn post is on its way, believe you me.)


Still, Barney's is infinitely better than Saks. I don't know what happened to Saks. I remember going there with my mother as a little girl and it actually makes me kind of nostalgic. I remember getting a $150 gift certificate there and being able to actually find things to buy with it - hair pieces, mainly.

So I obtained a $500 gift certificate to Saks Fifth Avenue last year. Not going to say where it came from as I am paranoid that I may have broken the terms of a credit card contract somewhere. Those things are impossible to read and I'm in friggin law school. Did a research project on the disclosure laws regarding credit card contracts, in fact, and apparently they're written at the "college graduate plus 8 years" literacy level. I'm currently at college grad plus 2.

No wonder the entire economy tanked.

Anyway, I had this $500 gift certificate and went to Saks. It was just before Christmas, and all through the store, Emily scampered and made out like a whore. They had a big 60% off the mark down price of rack in the women's - none of it especially couture, but I did get a gorgeous Eileen Fisher duster that was originally $400, a no-name skirt that was originally $350, and a fabulous new no-name cocktail dress that was originally $600 all together for approx. $350. That was a good buy.

I now realize after a walk through Barney's that on the high end scale, Saks is like a T.J. Maxx.

Except that I came back with $150 left on my gift card and had a hard time figuring out how to spend it. I distinctly remember being able to find $40 and $50 items when I was a teenager with that first gift card. Dinky little hair things that I never got much use out of, but something.

It's like Saks has eliminated all those even-the-biggest-splurge-is-affordable items I was just talking about. If I had denied myself the Eileen Fisher sweater I could have gotten a tiny Louis Vuitton change purse or something at the Louis counter.

But no wonder Saks is in trouble. They stopped providing any alternatives to spending a ton of money, and yet there's nothing all that special about any of what they carry. I took a look at some of their costume jewelry and they should be ashamed for charging what they're charging. I'm not opposed to paying big money for something fabulous, but why would I spend $350 on a basic, thin, sterling silver bangle I could get for less than $100, possibly even less than $50, anywhere else. Handmade, even, on Etsy.com. And at $350 it's not even enough of a splurge to be ridiculous. If you're going to do that you may as well charge $1200 for the sterling silver bangle so that those cocky assholes who don't know what to do with all their money can say they have a $1200 sterling silver bangle. I just don't get it.

Barney's I think is going to stick around, if for no reason other than that every element of their selection is pristine. I saw brands and items in their cosmetics section that I had never seen before, not even at my beloved and earlier mentioned C.O. Bigelow. But Saks is going down the crapper. The clincher was that I make jewelry and have been to an occasional hotel ballroom bead show, and at Saks necklaces made entirely of stones and beads that I could buy in bulk for less than $100 total were being sold (well, I guess I should say displayed in hopes of a sale) for over $1000. It's ridiculous.

Ended up spending that last $150 on a chartreuse Fox fur collar that doubles as a ridiculous U.S.S.R.-esque head band and that I feel so guilty about I won't wear it.